Seconds With Steff

Thank God for Sabrina. Over the past year… yes, year… she let me ship everything to her house — from bear spray to snacks, from shorts to toothpaste and even walking poles. I didn’t have to buy and pack it all at home, only to lug it onto a plane. Nope. Sabrina had it waiting in her garage, cooler and all! I even skipped my famous Target/Walmart Pick-Up Run because she had it handled. A few days ago, she sat on the phone with me and helped organize everything, so I knew exactly what I had and what still needed to be packed once I got to her place. Oh, and she saved me a hotel night, too. She is the best of the best (and yet we did not take a single picture).

I woke at 4:00 am … again … because apparently my body thinks it’s hilarious to sabotage me before a big day. Hunter, thankfully, slept until around 6:30. I let him sleep as long as I could before we started the process of getting ready and moving things around in the car – again because between last night and this morning, I shuffled and lost things way too many times even for me! The one thing I could not (and still cannot) find is the waterproof lanyard for my phone. I went through everything. Nothing. So after hugging Andrew and Sabrina goodbye, we made a quick stop at Walmart, and then we were officially on our way, but not without stopping to get our picture with the obligatory “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign which Sabrina was convinced would be quiet at 7:00am Saturday morning. And it would have been except for the marathon.

We drove through Arizona in what felt like five minutes and crossed into Utah.

Now our real adventures began: tubing down the Virgin River. When I booked this, it sounded hysterically fun! I imagined a group of us floating through Zion laughing and bonding. What actually happened was Hunter and I walking to the edge of the riverbed next to the facility, being told to grab a stick, and launched into the river. Just us. No group. No guide. Just me, Hunter, and a glorified walking stick.

Also, drought! So instead of floating, we were scraping. The river was so low we kept getting caught on rocks — big ones. We had to lie across the inner tubes like beached seals to avoid bruising our entire lower halves. Every bend, every rapid, we got stuck. Eventually, I gave up and tried to walk us down the river. Naturally, I fell and skinned my knee because of course I did.

Eventually, we figured out how to position ourselves so we could hit the rapids without getting stranded, but we did lose the stick towards the end. It was touch and go, but we did have fun…eventually.

I don’t know if the below video will save tonight, but I’ll go back tomorrow night to update… it’s worth the laugh.

We made it to Zion and—miracle of miracles—our room was ready early. I started to settle in until I realized I couldn’t find my phone. And then I really couldn’t find my phone. I tore through the luggage, went down to the car, retraced every step. Nothing. I had just checked in and handed the front desk my ID, which lives in my phone wallet, so I knew I’d had it five minutes ago. Cue full-blown panic.
I used Hunter’s phone to try to locate mine, but since my phone hadn’t connected to the Wi-Fi yet and had no service, it couldn’t be found. So I trekked back down to the car and finally spotted it—on the front seat, under Hunter’s clipboard. It was a solid 15 minutes of spiraling. But it is a nice room.

Once that crisis was over, we geared up and headed out to the Lower Emerald Pool trail. It was peaceful—just Hunter and me and about 50 Italians. We walked behind a waterfall, saw deer, and for a moment, everything felt quiet.

After that, we visited the Court of the Patriarchs and saw wild turkeys. Hunter was delighted.

We wrapped up the day with dinner at the Red Rock Grill inside the park. I’m now lying in bed, absolutely exhausted, with a headache pulsing on the right side of my face.

But before I pass out, I have to say: the landscape here is indescribable. The scale of it—the sheer size—is something you feel in your bones. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

Unreliable Summary- One hike down.

PS- H was so tired, he passed out on his phone.