Seconds With Steff

During COVID, my niece Elizabeth, her not-quite-yet hubby Nick, and their dog Toby fled NYC for my retired sister’s quiet life and big house in the suburbs of Charlotte, North Carolina. Soon after, her sister decided to test the real estate market to see if her house would get any bites… it sold in a week. So my sister’s big house now housed herself, her husband, two daughters, two husbands, two dogs, and a one-year-old. Elizabeth and Nick, ever the adventurers, decided to take advantage of the work-from-home ordeal and leave my sister a modicum of peace. They AirBNB’d in Kanab, Utah for a month, so when I was ready to do this trip, she had lots of suggestions — but none so strong as today’s adventure: Buckskin Gulch, the longest slot canyon so far discovered in the world. I did a ton of research, and had to get permits a few months ago, but would not have been able to understand a thing without Two Outliers. So… let’s hike!

After checking flash flood warnings for both the southern Grand Staircase–Escalante and Bryce Canyon (thanks to John, our tour guide from yesterday), and grabbing a hotel breakfast that was aggressively mediocre, we hit the road at a bright and shiny 7 AM.

The drive to Wire Pass Trailhead took about an hour, with the last 20 minutes being a full-blown off-road experience. Hunter was decked out in full desert gear: solar-powered fan hat (yes, really), neck fan, a CamelBak packed with ice, and a dry cooling towel with an extra bottle of water because I’m not new here.

It was windy, so I started in hiking pants. That lasted about five minutes. The Utah sun showed up with attitude, and I was in bike shorts before we hit the first bend. We made our way through three slot canyons I’d completely forgotten existed en route to Buckskin Gulch. Hunter and I were having a great time! We hopped over fallen trees, scrambled down little ledges, and climbed down a ladder like we knew what we were doing.

When we reached the confluence, we stopped for a salty treat. Hunter got a yellow bag of Lays and I munch on trail mix, but that’s when I realized: I never put water in the CamelBaks. Just ice. So the one bottle I brought to wet the cooling towels? Yeah, that was now our water supply. I rationed it—about a quarter each—knowing the ice would eventually melt and we’d be heading into shaded slot canyons soon.

We headed to the right side of the confluence, which was supposed to be the “better” side. It was muddy and full of water. Not Narrows-level water, but enough to soak our shoes. So we turned around and tried the left side, thinking the slope would keep it drier. Nope. Also full of water.

So we turned around again and made our way back through the original slot canyons. At this point, we were out of water and just chewing on ice. It was fine. It was fine. Totally fine! The After Picture… I was actually really really proud of us!

Now without the extra hiking, we were an hour ahead of schedule (thank you, obsessive planning), so we headed out. First stopping at the Arizona State Line. – Arizona is one hour earlier than Utah – Navajo tribal land does observe daylight savings…Arizona does not…but right now they are in the same timing but not the same time as Utah, Not confusing at all!

We are currently in the southern section of the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument. We are doing this trip as a loop and not a line so we can do the southern and northern parts of the staircase. And this was gorgeous today! There was a section that reminded me of the teepees in Petrified National Park, but it was miles of a wall of it. There are layers of rock everywhere you look. Our next stop was the Big Water Visitor Center, but it is temporarily closed…no idea why. We stopped at two viewpoints for the Glen Canyon Dam in Page, Arizona, which were really pretty and quick.

Then came the weirdest stop of the day: Burger King. I’d seen a YouTube video about their Navajo Code Talker display, and after helping Boss Lady’s son with a project a few years ago—and meeting Leon on Route 66 at the El Rancho Hotel in Gallup, NM—I always try to learn more. Also, I had a Whopper. It was delicious. No regrets.

And then: Monument Valley.

It’s just as gorgeous as you think it is. Months ago, I booked a tour because the internet told me only 20 cars are allowed on the 17-mile loop at a time. That’s a lie. A bold, ridiculous lie. It’s a mess of cars. But they do close the valley floor to general traffic later in the day, and tours are allowed out after hours. Knowing we’d arrive late, I picked a tour company I liked and booked it.

I showed up an hour early to confirm it was the right company (they all just hang out together in a cluster), and the woman said, “Yep, come back in 45 minutes.” Great. I filled Hunter’s CamelBak with actual water this time, plus ice, and returned.

She pointed me to a group and said, “Go join them.” I did. Said hello. Got a few blank stares. Sat down. And realized it was me, Hunter, and seven Italians. No, I am not kidding.

Our Navajo Tour Guides guide was Tim—(click here for a Time Magazine article featuring him). He took us into the backcountry to places we never would’ve seen otherwise. He played the flute for us, a song he called “Hunter’s Journey.” We visited his family’s ancestral home, where his sister put my hair into a traditional bun. And we also stopped at the traditional Monument Valley places like John Ford’s Point and The Three Sisters.

We watched the sunset. And since our cabin is right on the valley floor overlooking The Mittens., we went out at 10:00 to look at the stars. It was stunning.

One last note, although I was psyched to have a Navajo Taco, I also knew the timing of the tour would make everything dicey, and I had heard that the food in the restaurant was less than stellar, so one of the things shipped to Sabrina was Chef Boy’R Dee Spaghetti and Meatballs…so yup… Hunter was happy with his dinner, and I got a grab-and-go salad.

Unreliable Summary – Hiking, Whoppers, and Monument Valley Hairdos